How to word a wedding RSVP

State the reply-by date plainly

Put a date on the invitation and mean it. Choose one that is three to four weeks before the wedding, so you can give the caterer final numbers with a week to spare.

A line such as “Please reply by 15 March” is enough. Avoid vague phrases like “as soon as you can”.

Ask for names, not just numbers

Ask each guest to confirm exactly who is coming, by name. It keeps the place cards right and stops a plus one appearing out of nowhere.

If your invitation is for named guests only, say so. A line like “We have reserved two seats in your honour” makes the limit friendly and clear.

Meal choices

List the options in plain words, one per line, and ask every guest to choose. Include a vegetarian choice even if you expect few takers.

Ask about allergies in the same step, so the caterer sees both together.

Children

If children are not invited, say it on the invitation, not in a private message afterwards. If they are, ask for the number and their ages so you can plan seating and food.

Following up on late replies

Expect some silence. Send one reminder a few days after the deadline, then follow up personally with the stragglers. Keeping the guest list in one place makes it clear who still owes you an answer.